There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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