I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
