you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
