Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
