sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
