Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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