Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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