its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
