He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
