i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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