I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
