Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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