my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
