I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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