Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
