he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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