hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
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