When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
