Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
