come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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