the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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