Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
