Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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