So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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