Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
