Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
