dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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