go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
