Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Randomize
