it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize