Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize