You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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