I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
