theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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