I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
