You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
