Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
