fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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