My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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