it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
