You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
