GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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