Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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