thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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