By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
