so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
