whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
