my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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