Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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