There is no way he is gay with that hair.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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