Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
