question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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