Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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