battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
