That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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