so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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